After months of waiting article 50 has finally been triggered. This insular, racist and closed-minded nation has decided to commit collective suicide. Our economy is about to fall off a cliff. We are now facing permanent recession. We may even end up with a negative GDP. The pound will soon be so worthless, we will not even be able to afford living on the most basic of Tesco’s basic diets. Our elections will be hacked by Russia with impunity. After more than 800 years each Oxford and Cambridge will suddenly become terrible places to study.
Without the European court of human rights, we are going to descend into animalism. Soon, we will resemble some back water middle eastern shit hole. We will no longer be a liberal outward looking democracy, instead our courts will become kangaroo courts, we are going to start forcing women to stay at home and cover themselves up from head to toe.
Actually, this is understating the challenge we face. After a few years, the sky will split into two. The water around this Island will start attacking us. Wayne Rooney will become our supreme leader and Prime Minister. The Queen will lose her job as unemployment bites. The final nail in the coffin will come when the nations supply of tea runs dry.
My fellow Brits brace yourself. Armageddon is upon us!
Former Leader of the Illiberal Anti-Democrats
The Office of Remoaner in Chief
Agent of Project Fear